Understanding Children’s Misbehaviour
It’s important to have realistic expectations of children’s behaviour. Young children are still learning how to behave in socially appropriate ways in different contexts.
Rather than expecting perfect behaviour from our young children, it’s more helpful to have an understanding of some of the reasons for misbehaviour so that we can decide how best to help.
These reasons include:
- Age and developmental stage
- Biological needs, such as when our children are tired, hungry, thirsty, sick etc
- Difficulty managing emotions, including during times of peer difficulties, separation anxiety etc
- Needing increased connection – when our children’s ‘emotional buckets’ are in need of filling. Remember, we are all more likely to do good when we feel good.
- Family factors relating to us as parents. Are you too often absent or distracted for some reason? Might your parenting style be too harsh or perhaps too permissive? Is your parenting approach a good fit with your partner’s or do your approaches clash?
- Abuse/neglect
- Illness, mental or language disorders, including anxiety, ADHD, ASD, hearing or visual impairments, sensory processing difficulties and medical illnesses. Remember, if you suspect that your child might be experiencing a condition which is affecting his or her behaviour, then please seek an early assessment from your family doctor or child health specialist. It’s always better to check and have a condition ruled out, than wish that you’d detected something earlier.
Key Reflection Questions
Which of these reasons affect my child’s behaviour?
How does an understanding of these reasons help me decide how to manage my child’s misbehaviour?
Would a one-size-fits-all approach to discipline be the most effective teaching tool in all of these situations?
